My Motivation

I know it's been two weeks since my last post but I haven't felt very "post worthy" lately. Things have been okay, just not great. Today though, being the first day of June & our weekly weigh-in day, I figured it was as good a time as any to put up a new post.

Have you ever just seriously lacked motivation? I guess there are some people out there that are insanely motivated & never slack, but I think most people will understand what I'm saying. We know what we need to do. We know how to do what we need to do. We know it helps. We know that procrastinating, or skipping it completely, won't get it done & in the end make us feel worse for waiting so long or not doing it at all because then there's just more to do. So why? Why do we do that to ourselves? Could it be we like to wallow in our misery? Or could it be that we simply really don't care?
I know for myself that it isn't that I really don't care. If I didn't I wouldn't have come this far. Wallowing in misery? Perhaps, to a point.
What I think, & I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, is that it's about results. I'm not just talking about working out either. I'm talking about anything. When you live in a house with a two year old you wonder why bother picking up or cleaning because in less than an hour your house, or the room you just cleaned will look like a tornado just ripped through it. You do piles of laundry, just to end up with more piles starting the next day or in some cases even later that same day. You do dishes just to end up with more piled by the sink. You dust just to live to dust again. My kid's favorite, "Why make my bed? I'm just going to get back in it tonight!".
You eat right for whatever program you're on & workout just to have the scale go no where or seemingly move at a snail's pace. For me though it's more than the scale. I've been told over the years that, "When you workout it gives you more energy & you sleep better" & "When you workout you get a kind of high". Well, I want whatever the hell they're having because I ain't seeing it! I have no more energy, I'm still tired all the time & the only way I'm getting a "high" working out is if I smoke a lil' somethin' or pop a pill beforehand, which I'm not going to do.
So, my lack of motivation seems to derive from doing what I'm supposed to do & not seeing the results I'm hoping for, which miraculously, has nothing to do with the numbers. I'm going to keep pushing forward though & hopefully one day I can report that I slept like a baby, had energy like when I was 20 & was high as a kite after a workout. No one hold their breath though.
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "What the hell, I will feel better when the house/room is clean, laundry is done, dishes are done, dusting is done or my bed is made because it will look better" and then just do it. Same for dieting/eating right & exercising. If nothing else I do get a sense of accomplishment just for having done it, even if I don't reap the euphoric benefits I've heard about. So I'm going to just keep moving along & try to stay as motivated as I can. Meanwhile, I've got a personal trainer who lives to motivate. Girlfriend has her work cut out for her & I think she's finding that out the hard way, which I'm not proud of & I will try to make it easier on her. 

Now for the numbers. On May 18th Ryan weighed in at 244, I weighed in at 195. On May 25th Ryan weighed in at 244, I weighed in at 198. The 25th was after a weekend in Colorado at our friend's cabin. We ate a few thing that were not on our healthy eating list. I was grateful it was only 3 lbs.
Today, June 1st, Ryan weighed 242, which means he finally broke his 3 week plateau & lost 2 lbs! Woo-hoo! I weighed 195, which means I lost the 3 lbs I gained in Colorado. Had we done all the workouts we were supposed to it might have been better. So, we'll just pick up & keep on & see what happens next week.

A few things that have happened that are great positives have been:
1. We walked 2 miles outdoors in Colorado, the weather was actually nice. 1st mile all downhill, 2nd mile all uphill. The 1st mile took us 11 minutes, the 2nd mile took 14 minutes & part of that was me having to stop twice to catch my breath. Ryan could've gone more & I told him he could but he didn't, he stayed with me.
2. We walked on an outdoor track here at home that's a mile long & we did it 3 times. Yes, that means we walked 3 miles. Ryan could've gone more, but once again wouldn't leave me. I was whipped. No way mile 4 was coming out of this body that day. 
3. We walked 3 miles on a treadmill at the gym. Ryan in 55 min, me in 55:40. That included our warm up & cool down times.
So it would seem that 3 miles is quickly becoming our new 'norm'. Not sure how thrilled I am about that. One of our upcoming workouts is a 4 mile walk. We'll see. I'm sure Ryan will finish & still be smiling. Me, not so much. If I live through it I'll let ya know....