Dear Wednesday,
You used to be my friend. You were the halfway point to the weekend. You were an 'easy' day. Now I stress about you, almost to the point of fear sometimes. You see, on a Wednesday in the not so distant past you became "Doom Day" aka Weigh (& Measure) Day for Ryan & I. So now I awaken on Wednesday mornings & really don't know what to expect from you. Will things be good? Bad? The same?? Oh, if only I knew ahead of time! I so hope that at some point, very soon, all my Wednesdays will return to being good days. Please conspire with my brain to continue to make good choices & with my scale to show lower numbers. For now I will continue to stress, worry & at times fear you. I do want to thank you for being kind today & taking a bit of pity on us. Please continue to do so. I know that at some point you'll return to being one of the better days in our week!
Sincerely,
Me
Today I found out I lost 3 more pounds. I'm now down to 204. 5 more pounds & I'll be under 200 for the first time in YEARS. I was stuck at 245 for so long & never moved. Then when I finally did a year & a half ago it was to move UP to 249. Now being this close to being out of the 200's is such a strange feeling. Ryan lost a pound, down to 250. Not sure if it's the end of the plateau for him or not but a pound lost is still a loss. He feels like he's not doing well but pointed out his belt to me tonight. When he first bought it he had to use the 2nd set of holes. Now he's using like the 9th set. Tell me that's not progress! I can see it in him even if he can't & no matter what the scale says or the tape shows, I can see changes in his body. He says he can see them in me too, I unfortunately cannot. No matter what, we both have milestones that are coming within our grasp. Getting under 200 for me, breaking out of the plateau he's been in for over 3 weeks for him. Hopefully both will happen soon & we can look forward to our next set of milestones, whatever they may be.
Another milestone I hit this past week was that I WALKED 3 MILES! Took me 57 minutes to do it but I did it AND, I walked all of mile 2 at 3.5, which is my fastest speed to date. The rest was walked at 3.4. I was so excited & proud! 3 miles is something I honestly never thought I could do. I know to some people this may sound lame & they're like "Really? Is she really that stoked about 3 miles??", but YES, I am! I was the type of person who used to sit in my recliner & think that people who walked, jogged or ran 1 or 2 miles a day were nuts & that I could never do that. The idea of 1 mile exhausted me, let alone the idea of 2 or more! Now I'm doing 2 every day I walk & pushing to 3! Huge acomplishment for me!
I'm not competing with anyone but me at this point. In the end I'm the only one I'm really ever going to be competing against since there will always be someone out there that can out do me. As long as I'm doing my best & improving my times, distances & being able to increase my intensity & survive, then I'm successful & consider myself a winner!
"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have."
--Norman Vincent Peale
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."--William James
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Determination
Aggravated. Frustrated. Irritated. Mad. Sad. Bummed. Those are a few words that have been in our minds the last several days. We had "Doom Day" aka Weigh Day on Wednesday. I gained one pound, 207. Ryan was at 251 for the 3rd week in a row. It sucks feeling like you're doing everything right for no pay off. Honestly, it makes me want to give up. According to Audrey there's several reasons this could be happening for Ryan & for my gaining a pound. All I know is I wanted to murder that damn scale! I wanted to beat it into oblivion with a hammer! I know that destroying it won't change what it said to me. I know that the only thing that will change what it says is me are the choices I make. I know that I'll keep trying to make good choices & doing what's needed to get the results I want to see. You see, it has now become a war. A war I refuse to lose. I will battle my weight & I will win. It's been winning for far too long now & it's time it was put in it's place, far away from me.
So we're going to change up a few things with our caloric intake & our exercise & see if that doesn't move things along. In a perfect world we would have a trained chef to take care of all our food needs & be able to exercise as often as we wanted but since that's just not in the cards, we'll keep doing what we can to make it better on our own.
One thing that has been helping me is seeing other people going through the same things. I watched "I Used To Be Fat" on Mtv. Man, the work those kids put in was crazy but the results they got out of it were amazing! Not sure if I'd have the strength to work out 4-6 hours a day like that. Good for them for doing it while they're young. I also read Weight Watchers magazine & Shape and it helps to read about others who've struggled but have managed to get to their goal & stay there. My favorite inspiration, besides the encouragement from Audrey, is a book I got when we were in Salt Lake City about a month ago. It's a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book called "Shaping the New You". The stories in it are inspirational, funny & at times informative. What I'm finding out is that there's no easy or perfect way to do this. It's about changing your food choices, exercising, finding what works for you & sticking it out. So, I've made the changes in food choices, I'm exercising & now it's just the sticking it out.
I'm still waiting for the "easier" part to start when it comes to not craving my favorite foods but the work outs have gotten much better. I walked 2 1/2 miles in 47 minutes the other night. Let me break this down for you: I've gone from barely being able to walk 20 minutes at a speed of 2.5 to walking over 45 minutes at a 3.2-3.4 & completing a mile in 18:45-19:00 since January, not to mention the other work outs we do in addition to the walking or elliptical. So, I know that's not a great time, but it was really good for me & part of it was going slower for my cool down time. When I hit that mile... pure elation! I love that I can do that now. Audrey is talking to us about a possible goal of walking (or running) a 10k at the end of July. I'm seriously thinking about it. On January 19th when we started I thought that was a pipe dream & something I'd probably never realistically think about doing. Now I feel that it might actually be attainable. I even get a little excited when I consider it. We'll see. Who knows, there may be an athletic spirit buried underneath all this padding after all....
"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."
--George Sheehan
So we're going to change up a few things with our caloric intake & our exercise & see if that doesn't move things along. In a perfect world we would have a trained chef to take care of all our food needs & be able to exercise as often as we wanted but since that's just not in the cards, we'll keep doing what we can to make it better on our own.
One thing that has been helping me is seeing other people going through the same things. I watched "I Used To Be Fat" on Mtv. Man, the work those kids put in was crazy but the results they got out of it were amazing! Not sure if I'd have the strength to work out 4-6 hours a day like that. Good for them for doing it while they're young. I also read Weight Watchers magazine & Shape and it helps to read about others who've struggled but have managed to get to their goal & stay there. My favorite inspiration, besides the encouragement from Audrey, is a book I got when we were in Salt Lake City about a month ago. It's a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book called "Shaping the New You". The stories in it are inspirational, funny & at times informative. What I'm finding out is that there's no easy or perfect way to do this. It's about changing your food choices, exercising, finding what works for you & sticking it out. So, I've made the changes in food choices, I'm exercising & now it's just the sticking it out.
I'm still waiting for the "easier" part to start when it comes to not craving my favorite foods but the work outs have gotten much better. I walked 2 1/2 miles in 47 minutes the other night. Let me break this down for you: I've gone from barely being able to walk 20 minutes at a speed of 2.5 to walking over 45 minutes at a 3.2-3.4 & completing a mile in 18:45-19:00 since January, not to mention the other work outs we do in addition to the walking or elliptical. So, I know that's not a great time, but it was really good for me & part of it was going slower for my cool down time. When I hit that mile... pure elation! I love that I can do that now. Audrey is talking to us about a possible goal of walking (or running) a 10k at the end of July. I'm seriously thinking about it. On January 19th when we started I thought that was a pipe dream & something I'd probably never realistically think about doing. Now I feel that it might actually be attainable. I even get a little excited when I consider it. We'll see. Who knows, there may be an athletic spirit buried underneath all this padding after all....
"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."
--George Sheehan
Friday, March 11, 2011
Death By Bosu
Yesterday I was so excited that Friday was coming. That was then, this is now. Now Friday has lost it's appeal. Today was "Work out with Audrey" day. I was actually fairly excited about that because I wondered what new treasures she had in store for us today. Now I know & I'm fairly certain that more sleep would've been the way to go.
We had breakfast, got ready & headed out. Things started okay. The "Enforcer" went over our food journals, all good. Talked about work outs & how they've been going, all good. She showed me how to wrap Ryan's ankle for him with KT Tape, all good. Then it happened, the "Bosu Ball" officially came into our lives.
Until this point my limited experience had been during one previous work out with Audrey & it wasn't so bad. I was sitting & catching/throwing a ball from side to side. Very recently I discovered it makes doing Sit Bone Crunches (aka Leg Extensions) easier on my previously injured tail bone. I don't think Ryan had ever experienced it. Today we had the honor of attempting to stand on that thing. Not fun. Especially not fun for me. I think Ryan did way better than I did. I've always known I didn't have good balance, that thing just drove that point home. We did four rounds of various exercises but the two where I had to stand on the ball were interesting to say the least. I am hoping that with time, experience & the shedding of pounds it will get easier but in the meantime I'm pretty certain my butt will enjoy that Bosu Ball more than my feet will!
We had breakfast, got ready & headed out. Things started okay. The "Enforcer" went over our food journals, all good. Talked about work outs & how they've been going, all good. She showed me how to wrap Ryan's ankle for him with KT Tape, all good. Then it happened, the "Bosu Ball" officially came into our lives.
Until this point my limited experience had been during one previous work out with Audrey & it wasn't so bad. I was sitting & catching/throwing a ball from side to side. Very recently I discovered it makes doing Sit Bone Crunches (aka Leg Extensions) easier on my previously injured tail bone. I don't think Ryan had ever experienced it. Today we had the honor of attempting to stand on that thing. Not fun. Especially not fun for me. I think Ryan did way better than I did. I've always known I didn't have good balance, that thing just drove that point home. We did four rounds of various exercises but the two where I had to stand on the ball were interesting to say the least. I am hoping that with time, experience & the shedding of pounds it will get easier but in the meantime I'm pretty certain my butt will enjoy that Bosu Ball more than my feet will!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Agony of Weigh Day
Wednesdays for Ryan & I aren't just about being halfway through the week & that much closer to the weekend, they also represent "Doom Day", the day we weigh or weigh & measure which we alternate. Thank God this day only comes once a week. I don't think I could take it more often than that. My highest weight was 249 & as I mentioned before I lost 26 of that & got down to 223 in a year not changing a whole lot. So I started working with Audrey in January weighing 223. Ryan started with her at 279. His highest weight was 290. This week it's just weighing & as long as 249 & 290 stay away, we'll be doin' alright!
This morning as I was preparing to weigh, while muttering a stressed prayer under my breath & hoping for the best, I was wondering how Ryan's weigh in went since he had to leave for work before 5am. We have done pretty well up to this point, well, except for my break down a few weeks ago at the agony of only losing ONE pound. He was sweet & supportive & kept telling me "It's still a loss", which I knew but when you feel like you're killing yourself & trying to do well eating (& missing all the yummy fattening stuff) & end up with only one pound, well it's a bit disheartening to say the least & it happened to me two weeks in a row. Ugh. Ryan made the comment to me last night that he was somewhat nervous about the weigh in today & was hoping to see some movement on the scale, in the right direction. He's been struggling this last week with missing foods. Good to know I'm not the only one!
I stepped on & that stupid little needle stopped at 206. Damn. Only 2 pounds. Wait, that's one more than one! Yeehaw! Still, I would have loved to see myself under 200. That's a bit lofty right now I suppose. I will get there, one stinkin' pound at a time if I have to and, on the bright side I only need to lose 7 more to be there. I texted Ryan. His didn't change. Stuck at 251. It was my turn to be the strong encourager. I know he won't quit but I know that sinking feeling too. So from now till next Wednesday we'll work harder & change up calorie intake & see what happens. Plus we measure next week. Sometimes seeing the numbers change on that tape is almost as good as seeing it on the scale. If Ryan does next week what he's done before & ends up with a 5 pound or more loss for a week he may not live to be talked about in another blog. Unless I too have a good week & then I'll hug him & kiss him & keep my "other plans" to myself...
This morning as I was preparing to weigh, while muttering a stressed prayer under my breath & hoping for the best, I was wondering how Ryan's weigh in went since he had to leave for work before 5am. We have done pretty well up to this point, well, except for my break down a few weeks ago at the agony of only losing ONE pound. He was sweet & supportive & kept telling me "It's still a loss", which I knew but when you feel like you're killing yourself & trying to do well eating (& missing all the yummy fattening stuff) & end up with only one pound, well it's a bit disheartening to say the least & it happened to me two weeks in a row. Ugh. Ryan made the comment to me last night that he was somewhat nervous about the weigh in today & was hoping to see some movement on the scale, in the right direction. He's been struggling this last week with missing foods. Good to know I'm not the only one!
I stepped on & that stupid little needle stopped at 206. Damn. Only 2 pounds. Wait, that's one more than one! Yeehaw! Still, I would have loved to see myself under 200. That's a bit lofty right now I suppose. I will get there, one stinkin' pound at a time if I have to and, on the bright side I only need to lose 7 more to be there. I texted Ryan. His didn't change. Stuck at 251. It was my turn to be the strong encourager. I know he won't quit but I know that sinking feeling too. So from now till next Wednesday we'll work harder & change up calorie intake & see what happens. Plus we measure next week. Sometimes seeing the numbers change on that tape is almost as good as seeing it on the scale. If Ryan does next week what he's done before & ends up with a 5 pound or more loss for a week he may not live to be talked about in another blog. Unless I too have a good week & then I'll hug him & kiss him & keep my "other plans" to myself...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Victories & Failures
I knew when I agreed to start this healthy lifestyle it wouldn't be easy. I just didn't know it would be this hard.
When I first started working out I hated the elliptical machine. HATED it. Could barely do 3 minutes on it, was dying by the 2 minute mark. One victory I've had this past weekend was I accomplished 5 1/2 minutes on it, twice. Granted it was only on level 1 & I wasn't going very fast but I did it! The new nemesis for me is the dreaded SPIN BIKE. Suffice it to say I will not be signing up for any spin classes anytime soon since I DESPISE that piece of equipment! When Ryan & I last worked out with Audrey she had us do it & all I can say is that I'm lucky to be in one piece. I think we only went 15 minutes & it was brutal. My butt hurt for days. It's still a bit tender. Then she had that evil thing put on our schedule for this past Saturday. I only went for 10 minutes. It's not the riding that's so bad it's the seat. We were told that most people don't really use the seat that they stand up on it, well, we are required to sit for a portion of our workout & it sucks because that seat is not made for sitting upon. I think Ryan did 15 minutes & since we were supposed to go 30 he did better than me and made it halfway. I really hope I don't have to do the Spin Bike again for quite sometime, or that my butt toughens up & won't hurt so bad if I do. The treadmill is still my best gym friend.
On the food front, I need to explore the two new cookbooks I got. I'm sick of eating same ol' same ol'. Ryan does most of the cooking & he's amazing at it but we need some tasty new options. We do mostly grilled fish, pork roasts, turkey breasts & chicken. We still try to have steak from time to time but we do the bacon wrapped filets due to the serving size but it's still high, 220 calories. Since I can only have 300 per main meal that's a lot & the other meats are lower & better for me. I would almost kill for a big ol' thick, grilled ribeye though! I know it would not be good for me to have but it sure would taste yummy... especially with a baked potato that's the vehicle for the butter & sour cream that I miss. Damn. Ok, now I have to think of something healthier to eat for dinner but that's what I miss most. Except for the mexican food at Fiesta Guadalajara. And Pizza Hut's pizza & wings. And Wendy's Homestyle Chicken sandwiches, sour cream & chive potatoes & their chili. And Burger King's whoppers. And McDonald's chicken nuggets with bbq & hot mustard. And COKE. They say this will get easier. I've been doing this since January 19th. When does the "easy" start? Ugh.
When I first started working out I hated the elliptical machine. HATED it. Could barely do 3 minutes on it, was dying by the 2 minute mark. One victory I've had this past weekend was I accomplished 5 1/2 minutes on it, twice. Granted it was only on level 1 & I wasn't going very fast but I did it! The new nemesis for me is the dreaded SPIN BIKE. Suffice it to say I will not be signing up for any spin classes anytime soon since I DESPISE that piece of equipment! When Ryan & I last worked out with Audrey she had us do it & all I can say is that I'm lucky to be in one piece. I think we only went 15 minutes & it was brutal. My butt hurt for days. It's still a bit tender. Then she had that evil thing put on our schedule for this past Saturday. I only went for 10 minutes. It's not the riding that's so bad it's the seat. We were told that most people don't really use the seat that they stand up on it, well, we are required to sit for a portion of our workout & it sucks because that seat is not made for sitting upon. I think Ryan did 15 minutes & since we were supposed to go 30 he did better than me and made it halfway. I really hope I don't have to do the Spin Bike again for quite sometime, or that my butt toughens up & won't hurt so bad if I do. The treadmill is still my best gym friend.
On the food front, I need to explore the two new cookbooks I got. I'm sick of eating same ol' same ol'. Ryan does most of the cooking & he's amazing at it but we need some tasty new options. We do mostly grilled fish, pork roasts, turkey breasts & chicken. We still try to have steak from time to time but we do the bacon wrapped filets due to the serving size but it's still high, 220 calories. Since I can only have 300 per main meal that's a lot & the other meats are lower & better for me. I would almost kill for a big ol' thick, grilled ribeye though! I know it would not be good for me to have but it sure would taste yummy... especially with a baked potato that's the vehicle for the butter & sour cream that I miss. Damn. Ok, now I have to think of something healthier to eat for dinner but that's what I miss most. Except for the mexican food at Fiesta Guadalajara. And Pizza Hut's pizza & wings. And Wendy's Homestyle Chicken sandwiches, sour cream & chive potatoes & their chili. And Burger King's whoppers. And McDonald's chicken nuggets with bbq & hot mustard. And COKE. They say this will get easier. I've been doing this since January 19th. When does the "easy" start? Ugh.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Beginning
My name is Monica and life in my household has changed drastically in the past couple of months. My husband, Ryan & I decided it was time to try to do something about the weight we've gained over the past 20 years and since turning 40 will be creeping up on me in October, I decided it was time. We've tried various things over the years and nothing has worked either because we didn't follow through or because we tend to not hold each other or ourselves accountable. So if one of us didn't want to eat right or work out instead of the other saying "No, let's do this", we'd say "Ok, I don't really want to either" and BOOM, that was it. All it took was one time to kill it.
Ryan landed in the hospital in December 2010. He was admitted the evening of the 20th & kept, in ICU, till the 24th. This was due to him possibly having had a heart attack and also his kidneys were not working correctly because of protein that his muscles were releasing as they were breaking down. This lovely situation happened all because of one day of snowmachining on the 19th and getting stuck about 6 times. He was exhausted and ran himself too far into the ground and being overweight and out of shape didn't help matters at all. It turned out he had not had a heart attack it was just his kidneys straining to work & putting stress on his heart. This episode was all the motivation I needed and even though he may not readily admit it, I believe it was for Ryan too. Amazing what a threat on your life or the life of someone you love can motivate you to do!
So we signed up with a personal trainer in January 2011. We needed that third person to be accountable to & to help us get going. It's worked and we can't thank Audrey Ross enough! She is fantastic to work with. She's a lot of fun but she helps us with our food issues and kicks our butts regularly in work outs. We are learning to eat healthy. We have given up most fast food & restaurants, unless we're traveling & out of town. She has shown us how to go as healthy as possible in those situations as well. If you'd have asked me just a month & a half ago if we'd ever give up fast food & eating out I'd have laughed in your face & told you that was crazy talk, and the people who know us know that's true, but we've done it. I still miss it from time to time & the t.v. commercials don't help, but we've both stayed strong and left it behind. As Audrey told me once, "Just remember that as good as it was & as much as you liked it, it's what's got you where you are today. Ask yourself if it's worth it." We did & our answer was NO. We cook at home every night or get Subway, which is the only place we can get really "healthy" options that fall into the calories we're allowed to eat. Our kids are getting sick of fish & pork roasts which we have done a lot of but it's not all we eat. We also use chicken & occasionally beef. I have actually reached the point where I feel better for working out and almost miss it on the nights we're off. That's a miracle in itself right there! I have always said I could never do all this eating healthy & working out business but here I am doing it & doing it well! I guess that's the difference between saying you want to do it & really having the motivation to get it done. When you have the right motivation you find that eating right isn't as hard as you thought it was and the time for working out that you always said you didn't have, well you find out that you can't NOT make the time to work out because your body needs it. I lost 26 lbs from Oct of '09 to Oct of '10 just by making a few healthier eating choices. Since starting to work with Audrey I've lost another 14 lbs, maybe more by now. It's not always easy, in fact it can be downright hard sometimes but we have committed to ourselves, each other & to Audrey to do this and this time make it a permanent change, a permanent part of our lives. I don't intend to back out & neither does Ryan. Audrey won't allow it.
Ryan landed in the hospital in December 2010. He was admitted the evening of the 20th & kept, in ICU, till the 24th. This was due to him possibly having had a heart attack and also his kidneys were not working correctly because of protein that his muscles were releasing as they were breaking down. This lovely situation happened all because of one day of snowmachining on the 19th and getting stuck about 6 times. He was exhausted and ran himself too far into the ground and being overweight and out of shape didn't help matters at all. It turned out he had not had a heart attack it was just his kidneys straining to work & putting stress on his heart. This episode was all the motivation I needed and even though he may not readily admit it, I believe it was for Ryan too. Amazing what a threat on your life or the life of someone you love can motivate you to do!
So we signed up with a personal trainer in January 2011. We needed that third person to be accountable to & to help us get going. It's worked and we can't thank Audrey Ross enough! She is fantastic to work with. She's a lot of fun but she helps us with our food issues and kicks our butts regularly in work outs. We are learning to eat healthy. We have given up most fast food & restaurants, unless we're traveling & out of town. She has shown us how to go as healthy as possible in those situations as well. If you'd have asked me just a month & a half ago if we'd ever give up fast food & eating out I'd have laughed in your face & told you that was crazy talk, and the people who know us know that's true, but we've done it. I still miss it from time to time & the t.v. commercials don't help, but we've both stayed strong and left it behind. As Audrey told me once, "Just remember that as good as it was & as much as you liked it, it's what's got you where you are today. Ask yourself if it's worth it." We did & our answer was NO. We cook at home every night or get Subway, which is the only place we can get really "healthy" options that fall into the calories we're allowed to eat. Our kids are getting sick of fish & pork roasts which we have done a lot of but it's not all we eat. We also use chicken & occasionally beef. I have actually reached the point where I feel better for working out and almost miss it on the nights we're off. That's a miracle in itself right there! I have always said I could never do all this eating healthy & working out business but here I am doing it & doing it well! I guess that's the difference between saying you want to do it & really having the motivation to get it done. When you have the right motivation you find that eating right isn't as hard as you thought it was and the time for working out that you always said you didn't have, well you find out that you can't NOT make the time to work out because your body needs it. I lost 26 lbs from Oct of '09 to Oct of '10 just by making a few healthier eating choices. Since starting to work with Audrey I've lost another 14 lbs, maybe more by now. It's not always easy, in fact it can be downright hard sometimes but we have committed to ourselves, each other & to Audrey to do this and this time make it a permanent change, a permanent part of our lives. I don't intend to back out & neither does Ryan. Audrey won't allow it.
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