Saturday, April 23, 2011
The photo
The photo I put up was Ryan & I in Las Vegas in April of '09. I will try & post a recent one of us soon.
Continuing On
It's been a bit over a week since my last post. I should be more on top of things I suppose but sometimes life overwhelms me with everything I need to do, should do or others think I'm supposed to do. Do I sound stressed? Yes, I think so. Makes the workouts nice though, not thinking about any of the stuff I stress about but just focusing on what I'm doing, if I'm doing it right & how long I do it for. I could get to like this! Plus, when I'm done I feel less stressed so that's an added bonus.
Our weigh in on the 20th was ok. Ryan lost two lbs. I didn't lose any. Stuck at 200 for me. That's ok though, I was just thrilled I hadn't gained! The reason I was so thrilled about not gaining was because I've had a slightly off week.
Last weekend my lovely youngest daughter, Shelby, decided to do something so horrible & mean that honestly I'm surprised she's still living in this house & not in the driveway! She made double batches of Monster Cookies & Sugared Popcorn! I love Monster Cookies!! They are HUGE, chewy, oatmealy, chocolate chippy, M&M-y goodness. Needless to say, they are NOT what I'm supposed to be eating. Oh yeah, the popcorn was good too. I can honestly say I've only had a little bit of the popcorn, not enough to even worry about, but the cookies... oh the cookies! I've had 8 of them. (Audrey, I know last count was 7 & I swore NO MORE, but that last one was taunting me & I had to take it down! They're gone now, so there will not be a 9th one! And no, I didn't eat them all, they're "hidden".) I know this failure sounds terrible & it is, especially since I was so proud of how well I was doing with the food part of my program but, everyone has bumps in their road & this was one of my "bumps". Ryan's had 3 cookies. He really irritates me sometimes! Definitely has more self control than I. To make matters worse I had to skip a workout night before last because I worked late & by the time I got home we were starving & decided that dinner sounded more important. It's all good though because I'm working out on my next off day to make up for it. There was a reason for my cookie obsession.
WARNING: This may be TMI (too much info) for some, especially men, but it's important that other women know that this can happen to them too!
I was going through my "monthly issue". Ick. Apparently I crave sweets during that time way more than I thought I did because usually I can take sweets or leave them but this last week I was a cookie obsessed crazy woman! Luckily I take a pill that makes it optional for me to have that "issue" so it only happens a few times a year. Now that I know what it does to me I can be better prepared for the next time! So women, be aware! If you are watching what you eat in whatever manner you have chosen you can be seriously derailed if you aren't careful! Not sure about men, Ryan doesn't say much. Although he has been craving a couple of things we used to eat lately. That makes me feel much better since until recently it was only me that was struggling.
Ending on a high note though, last night I walked on the treadmill. I walked two miles in 34:15 and got my speed up to 3.8 which is my high speed to this point. I only did that speed for somewhere between 5-10 minutes but I still did it. I was a sweaty beast when I was done with my walk! After I finished my cool down I had walked 38 minutes and I felt great.
I still feel guilty about the cookies but I'll just keep working them off & hopefully on the 27th the scale won't show too much damage done. Even if I'm sitting at 200 for a third week!
Our weigh in on the 20th was ok. Ryan lost two lbs. I didn't lose any. Stuck at 200 for me. That's ok though, I was just thrilled I hadn't gained! The reason I was so thrilled about not gaining was because I've had a slightly off week.
Last weekend my lovely youngest daughter, Shelby, decided to do something so horrible & mean that honestly I'm surprised she's still living in this house & not in the driveway! She made double batches of Monster Cookies & Sugared Popcorn! I love Monster Cookies!! They are HUGE, chewy, oatmealy, chocolate chippy, M&M-y goodness. Needless to say, they are NOT what I'm supposed to be eating. Oh yeah, the popcorn was good too. I can honestly say I've only had a little bit of the popcorn, not enough to even worry about, but the cookies... oh the cookies! I've had 8 of them. (Audrey, I know last count was 7 & I swore NO MORE, but that last one was taunting me & I had to take it down! They're gone now, so there will not be a 9th one! And no, I didn't eat them all, they're "hidden".) I know this failure sounds terrible & it is, especially since I was so proud of how well I was doing with the food part of my program but, everyone has bumps in their road & this was one of my "bumps". Ryan's had 3 cookies. He really irritates me sometimes! Definitely has more self control than I. To make matters worse I had to skip a workout night before last because I worked late & by the time I got home we were starving & decided that dinner sounded more important. It's all good though because I'm working out on my next off day to make up for it. There was a reason for my cookie obsession.
WARNING: This may be TMI (too much info) for some, especially men, but it's important that other women know that this can happen to them too!
I was going through my "monthly issue". Ick. Apparently I crave sweets during that time way more than I thought I did because usually I can take sweets or leave them but this last week I was a cookie obsessed crazy woman! Luckily I take a pill that makes it optional for me to have that "issue" so it only happens a few times a year. Now that I know what it does to me I can be better prepared for the next time! So women, be aware! If you are watching what you eat in whatever manner you have chosen you can be seriously derailed if you aren't careful! Not sure about men, Ryan doesn't say much. Although he has been craving a couple of things we used to eat lately. That makes me feel much better since until recently it was only me that was struggling.
Ending on a high note though, last night I walked on the treadmill. I walked two miles in 34:15 and got my speed up to 3.8 which is my high speed to this point. I only did that speed for somewhere between 5-10 minutes but I still did it. I was a sweaty beast when I was done with my walk! After I finished my cool down I had walked 38 minutes and I felt great.
I still feel guilty about the cookies but I'll just keep working them off & hopefully on the 27th the scale won't show too much damage done. Even if I'm sitting at 200 for a third week!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Scale Was NOT My Friend, But The Tape Was!
So, Wednesday's weigh in was not as great as we would've liked. I stayed at 200 & Ryan went to 244, a 2 lb gain. Needless to say, we were both frustrated with that. Ryan was more frustrated than I was because my measurements were pretty good. Some of his were lower but not as much as he'd have liked. We always measure first & since some of my numbers were down significantly from two weeks ago (we only measure every two weeks, weigh once a week) Ryan assumed that meant I'd lost quite a bit this last week. I told him that "inches do not equal pounds" and I was right. Inches were lost but no pounds. 200 is proving to be a difficult number to crack. It will crack. In fact I will shatter that bastard if it's the last thing I do! (please forgive the language)
After all was said & done I texted Audrey & she said that Ryan may not have really "gained" but it could be water retention or since he's been lifting more weight lately it could be muscle gain but he's still frustrated. Part of Ryan's frustration is that he has a goal to be at a certain weight by a certain date & all this gain & plateau business is not going in the right direction, which I understand. This is where we differ, he's all hardcore goal oriented & for me I figure that where I am by that same date is where I'll be & it's going to be better than where I was in January. I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't put on 132 lbs over night & they aren't going to come off that way either. I am down 49 lbs from my high weight which was 249 so that's a good thing & I'm pretty happy with. It took me a year to lose 25 but I wasn't working at it, in fact didn't realize I had lost it until I went to one of my doctors last October. So if it takes me a year or more to lose the rest of it then I'll be okay with that. I wish it would go faster but I'm at the point now that anywhere I go is better than where I've been. Hopefully Ryan will start to feel that way too & not get so down when he doesn't get the results he's looking for every time we weigh/measure.
Hopefully this next week will bring better news for us both but if not for me then at least for him. If not you may not hear from me for a while because I may be hiding out. =)
After all was said & done I texted Audrey & she said that Ryan may not have really "gained" but it could be water retention or since he's been lifting more weight lately it could be muscle gain but he's still frustrated. Part of Ryan's frustration is that he has a goal to be at a certain weight by a certain date & all this gain & plateau business is not going in the right direction, which I understand. This is where we differ, he's all hardcore goal oriented & for me I figure that where I am by that same date is where I'll be & it's going to be better than where I was in January. I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't put on 132 lbs over night & they aren't going to come off that way either. I am down 49 lbs from my high weight which was 249 so that's a good thing & I'm pretty happy with. It took me a year to lose 25 but I wasn't working at it, in fact didn't realize I had lost it until I went to one of my doctors last October. So if it takes me a year or more to lose the rest of it then I'll be okay with that. I wish it would go faster but I'm at the point now that anywhere I go is better than where I've been. Hopefully Ryan will start to feel that way too & not get so down when he doesn't get the results he's looking for every time we weigh/measure.
Hopefully this next week will bring better news for us both but if not for me then at least for him. If not you may not hear from me for a while because I may be hiding out. =)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Gotta...Lose...Weight....or Not.
Tomorrow is "Doom Day". We have to weigh AND measure this week. It's going to be a really good day after it's done or I may be more miserable than I have been thus far & that's saying a lot. Last week I weighed 200 which means I've lost 23 lbs. Tomorrow morning I'll either be UNDER 200, which is what I'm really hoping for, or I'll be stuck at 200. My only other option is to gain & Lord help that scale if that has happened! (I mentioned earlier that I wanted to murder it & tomorrow could be that day.)
Today we worked out with Audrey. Not our normal Friday morning & after not sleeping well last night & working all the day, trust me when I say I'm feeling it! Let's just say, in the nicest way possible of course, she kicked my ass! I actually did a seemingly innocent & easy looking workout. It lied. It was not innocent OR easy. In fact it was one of the hardest ones I've done yet which means one of two things: 1. It was made to look easy but sneak in & kick the crap out of you. or 2. I'm severely & grossly out of shape! (I'm bettin' on #2...)
I was seriously feeling light headed & a tad nauseas when I finished it. I recovered with a mile on the treadmill. I'm proud of myself for finishing but honestly it just showed me how far I still have to go. It also proved to me how far I've come. In January I couldn't have even gotten through one round of that torture if my life depended on it. Probably would've dropped dead trying. So the fact that I finished 3 sets of "stations" that consisted of 3 or 4 different exercises was just pretty cool. I'm super thankful to Audrey for getting me here, or helping me get here since it's not her skinny lil' self doing all the work! I pay her to tell me what to do & how to eat. What a scheme she has going on! Just kiddin' Audrey, you're super & we're truly blessed to have you helping us!
I hope all that crap pays off on that stupid scale tomorrow. If not, I know where a hammer is and I'm so not afraid to use it! (but then I'll just have to go buy another one. The stupid thing will tell me the same things that I'll either like or not. "Don't shoot the messenger"...) I guess my other alternative is trudge on till next Wednesday & pray for the best. Doesn't sound like as much fun but it's probably the better idea in the long run. Scale saved by clear thinking! Well, as clear a thinking such is possible with generic Ambien CR running through my veins. Off to bed. Results tomorrow.
Today we worked out with Audrey. Not our normal Friday morning & after not sleeping well last night & working all the day, trust me when I say I'm feeling it! Let's just say, in the nicest way possible of course, she kicked my ass! I actually did a seemingly innocent & easy looking workout. It lied. It was not innocent OR easy. In fact it was one of the hardest ones I've done yet which means one of two things: 1. It was made to look easy but sneak in & kick the crap out of you. or 2. I'm severely & grossly out of shape! (I'm bettin' on #2...)
I was seriously feeling light headed & a tad nauseas when I finished it. I recovered with a mile on the treadmill. I'm proud of myself for finishing but honestly it just showed me how far I still have to go. It also proved to me how far I've come. In January I couldn't have even gotten through one round of that torture if my life depended on it. Probably would've dropped dead trying. So the fact that I finished 3 sets of "stations" that consisted of 3 or 4 different exercises was just pretty cool. I'm super thankful to Audrey for getting me here, or helping me get here since it's not her skinny lil' self doing all the work! I pay her to tell me what to do & how to eat. What a scheme she has going on! Just kiddin' Audrey, you're super & we're truly blessed to have you helping us!
I hope all that crap pays off on that stupid scale tomorrow. If not, I know where a hammer is and I'm so not afraid to use it! (but then I'll just have to go buy another one. The stupid thing will tell me the same things that I'll either like or not. "Don't shoot the messenger"...) I guess my other alternative is trudge on till next Wednesday & pray for the best. Doesn't sound like as much fun but it's probably the better idea in the long run. Scale saved by clear thinking! Well, as clear a thinking such is possible with generic Ambien CR running through my veins. Off to bed. Results tomorrow.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Workin' the Journey
Day 75. Since it's 1:43 a.m. on Sunday it officially marks 75 days for Ryan & I starting this journey of getting healthy. Doesn't seem like it's been that long already. We have reached the point where it's strange for us to not workout, even if it's a normal day off that Audrey has scheduled for us. In 75 days we have only missed 2 workouts. That's not bad considering that missing one before Audrey came along was grounds for quitting altogether.
I have learned the joy, said sarcastically, of working out while sickly. I have a gland on the right side of my neck that's very swollen & very painful. I've had this before but usually it will swell for a day or two then go away. This time it's lasted over 7 days. Had to get a blood draw to check my thyroid "just in case", which I needed to do anyway for my thyroid medication but as anyone who knows me will tell you an appointment with a needle involved is not a good day for me. Almost passed out this time. Haven't had that for a while but it just proved to me that my fear & mental illness regarding needles hasn't gone anywhere.
I haven't been sick at all since spring of '09. This last few weeks I've been struggling with some minor sinus stuff and I just chalked it up to allergies & doing a lot of dusting in my house. Apparently, it's actually something trying to catch hold so my doctor put me on an antibiotic. I've only been on it since Friday and since it's early Sunday morning I've only had 3 doses. I hope it kicks in soon & I feel better.
Anyway, Thursday I skipped the workout. I just felt too terrible & couldn't suck it up to get it done. Friday I was considering skipping again but I felt like I'd feel worse if I did so I sucked it up & went. I'm glad I did but it wasn't easy. I only walked 1.23 miles on the treadmill but I stayed between 3.0 & 3.4 for speed & kept it at an incline of 2 for most of it. Then I got off & did some ab work & a bit of weight work. I decided since I didn't really go far on the treadmill I may as well put in a bit of effort some other way. I don't regret doing it & actually felt better when I was done, if not physically I felt it mentally. It wasn't easy because turning my head certain ways aggravated my neck & really hurt. Heck, even breathing heavy hurt. What happened though is that I proved to myself that I'm stronger than I thought I was & I can do this even when I don't really feel so great. Another excuse shot down. (sarcastically) Thanks Audrey... Of course I wouldn't push it if I was seriously ill or injured & I wiped everything I used or touched down with the antibacterial wipes they provide like we always do, but I did do a workout. I know it's just a small thing but I was proud just the same.
For those keeping track with us weigh day was, well, great for Ryan & "UGH" for me. Ryan broke his plateau & weighed in at 245. That's 6 lbs lost for him. I was stuck at 204 for the second week. I think he set down the plateau & I picked it up. Crap. Oh well, there's always next Wednesday! If, by chance, that day doesn't come for me I'll be the short fat girl partying it up in Heaven with Mexican food, pizza, wings & chocolate cake, along with my fruits & veggies of course.
I have learned the joy, said sarcastically, of working out while sickly. I have a gland on the right side of my neck that's very swollen & very painful. I've had this before but usually it will swell for a day or two then go away. This time it's lasted over 7 days. Had to get a blood draw to check my thyroid "just in case", which I needed to do anyway for my thyroid medication but as anyone who knows me will tell you an appointment with a needle involved is not a good day for me. Almost passed out this time. Haven't had that for a while but it just proved to me that my fear & mental illness regarding needles hasn't gone anywhere.
I haven't been sick at all since spring of '09. This last few weeks I've been struggling with some minor sinus stuff and I just chalked it up to allergies & doing a lot of dusting in my house. Apparently, it's actually something trying to catch hold so my doctor put me on an antibiotic. I've only been on it since Friday and since it's early Sunday morning I've only had 3 doses. I hope it kicks in soon & I feel better.
Anyway, Thursday I skipped the workout. I just felt too terrible & couldn't suck it up to get it done. Friday I was considering skipping again but I felt like I'd feel worse if I did so I sucked it up & went. I'm glad I did but it wasn't easy. I only walked 1.23 miles on the treadmill but I stayed between 3.0 & 3.4 for speed & kept it at an incline of 2 for most of it. Then I got off & did some ab work & a bit of weight work. I decided since I didn't really go far on the treadmill I may as well put in a bit of effort some other way. I don't regret doing it & actually felt better when I was done, if not physically I felt it mentally. It wasn't easy because turning my head certain ways aggravated my neck & really hurt. Heck, even breathing heavy hurt. What happened though is that I proved to myself that I'm stronger than I thought I was & I can do this even when I don't really feel so great. Another excuse shot down. (sarcastically) Thanks Audrey... Of course I wouldn't push it if I was seriously ill or injured & I wiped everything I used or touched down with the antibacterial wipes they provide like we always do, but I did do a workout. I know it's just a small thing but I was proud just the same.
For those keeping track with us weigh day was, well, great for Ryan & "UGH" for me. Ryan broke his plateau & weighed in at 245. That's 6 lbs lost for him. I was stuck at 204 for the second week. I think he set down the plateau & I picked it up. Crap. Oh well, there's always next Wednesday! If, by chance, that day doesn't come for me I'll be the short fat girl partying it up in Heaven with Mexican food, pizza, wings & chocolate cake, along with my fruits & veggies of course.
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